Okay. Seriously. What the hell is going on over at Ninja?? I need a behind-the-scenes documentary IMMEDIATELY. Because at this point, I’m convinced they either have a team of mad scientists locked in a lab somewhere, or they’ve hired every last inventor from MIT, Harvard, and the depths of my dreams.
These people are NOT normal. They are too innovative. It’s actually starting to feel personal.
Let me be honest with you—I already don’t have cabinet space. I don’t. I have the air fryer. I have the Foodi. I have the blender. I have the system. But guess what? That’s not enough for Ninja. No, no. They’ve decided I must also now have a cooler that looks like it’s from the year 3000: this one that looks like a portable mini fridge with cup holders and wheels??? EXCUSE ME?
And just when I was trying to emotionally recover from that, they drop another one that you can WEAR ON YOUR BACK like a Jetsons lunchbox situation. This one?? That you just strap on and roll out? Ninja is not playing fair anymore.
Meanwhile, I’m still over here like, “One day I’ll finally get the Ninja Creami…”
Here it is taunting me: Ninja Creami
I’ve been patient. I’ve waited. And then boom—NINJA SWIRL???
WHAT IS THE NINJA SWIRL: Click here if you dare
It’s like an evolved form of the Creami. And I don’t even understand how it works but I know I want it and I know I don’t have an inch of counter space left for it.
AND THEN I GOT THE JUICER.
This juicer takes up space but makes it worth it
Yes. I bought the juicer. This one. Because of course I did. Because Ninja made it look sleek and whisper-quiet and like it was going to change my life and my vitamin levels.
But what now? What next week?? What’s the next thing they’re going to make me feel like I have to own?
I’m mad. I’m impressed. I’m broke.
But Ninja… keep doing what you’re doing.
Just maybe build me some cabinets too. 🫠
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